Pete Carroll is an ass hat.

I suppose I could end this blog post there and everyone could go on with their lives just fine, but I simply cannot. The fact that you also already know that Pete Carroll is an ass hat is another thing, but do you really understand what an ass hat he is?

I’ve wanted to flame Carroll for a few weeks now and Spencer Hall finally gave me the push in the right direction with his Journey Through College Football Dickdom. In this bit of awesomeness, which everyone should certainly read, Pete Carroll is mentioned for doing “dickish” things as a coach against other teams and coaches.

Whether it’s running up the score, or throwing a play-action bomb against UCLA up two scores as time runs out, Pete Carroll has never been the opposition’s favorite guy, even though these actions were somewhat acceptable when he was coaching.

While his years of bullying Pac-10 teams caught up with him last season, these offences are more of a case builder than a case.

He brought out Will Ferrell to entertain his Trojan players and went through his celebrity rolodex to show off his inner “BRO” but it’s turned out that this entire So. Cal approach isn’t really what he’s made of. As much as he’d like to play it off like he was one of the “guys,” he wasn’t. In fact, his true colors are clear.

The Reggie Bush saga, which has been in docket for four years, was obviously the cherry on top that he saw coming. Not only did he bail, but he had the audacity to scorn the NCAA like they’ve gone too far. Pete almost seemed appalled that such actions would take place under his watch, but you and I both know that he certainly knew plenty more than he confessed in his awkward sex tape, apology, whatever you want to call this.

I could go “JFK” on all of you, but I think Pete pretty much sums himself and the situation up nicely. And by nicely, I mean this is perfect fodder for a Pete Carroll rant. Oh, and this aired on Pete Carroll T.V. no less. Don’t all you USC folk feel better after this? I mean after all, he did say “We” quite a bit.

Meanwhile up in Seattle, Carroll’s paychecks are now double in size and there are is bowl ban or scholarship cuts in sight. The finishing touch on removing all ties with USC was cutting both LenDale White and Mike Williams, but I suppose even I can’t really bust him up for this one.

You can argue what impact Carroll played in the USC sanctions, but you can’t argue his involvement. Things happened in his tenure and on his watch. He knew damn well the ship was sinking all the way to the bottom when he jumped off and ran to the NFL.

He’ll throw around terms like “challenges” and “new chapters in life” but really this is just an easy way to avoid getting burned. Well, I suppose he does truly dwell over all those vacated wins. <— Bad attempt at college football humor

While Carroll may have been able to avoid trouble and cash in the process. He can’t avoid the Chris Farley comparison I’m about to drop on his ass.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE KEEP MR. CARROLL AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN

In our last entry of “Guys We Like” we featured  Big 10 defensive lineman Adrian Clayborn, and we’re staying close to home with our second entry. Next up, is Ohio State’s Cameron Heyward, a physical presence that might have more potential than any other d-lineman in the country. Being frank, this cat is an absolute freak.

In 2009, Heyward logged 6.5 sacks and ten tackles for loss on his way to becoming 2^nd Team All-Big 10. While these numbers don’t shatter the stat sheet, the man’s physical appearance, presence, and potential do.

At 6’6” and a lean 288, Heyward can actually play both inside and on the end. This is something that pro teams will love, and it’s rare to see a college player have success doing it at both spots. It’s been noted that he runs a 4.8 or 4.9 forty, which is remarkable given his size. This also says to me he will be an ideal 3-4 DE at the next level. It appears that Ohio State will keep him at end to start the year, but you can expect him to move around for given matchups. A lot will also depend on how the rest of the group plays.

Heyward has been making an impact in games since his freshmen season, but really started showcasing superstar skills late last year. The game that comes to mind for many fans is Heyward’s standout performance against Penn State in ‘09. Heyward finished with 11 tackles, 3 for loss, and 2 sacks. On top of these already legit numbers, he was a menace on the Nittany line the entire game and really helped promote an already growing buzz beyond the Ohio State faithful.

While many will immediately think of Vernon Gholston and his poor transition to the NFL, Heyward seems to embrace contact and have the football spark that Gholston obviously lacked. Just by watching him last year and on tape, Heyward also uses his hands and body a lot better to get a much better push up field. He’s simply a different guy, and a whole hell of a lot better.

We love Adrian Clayborn, but there’s reasons to like this guy more. If he can avoid injuries, I have no doubts that Heyward will be a top 5 pick in the NFL Draft next year. And that’s me being optimistic. Staying closer to the present, Heywardis a HUGE piece of the puzzle for Ohio State if they’re going to contend for a national championship.

Heyward showcased a lot of these skills against one of the nation’s deadliest offenses in the Rose Bowl. Yes, that is Mr. Masoli when life was good. Well, not good but better than his current situation.

This man, isn’t so much of a man, as he is a bear in a man’s body. Get it?

In any event, Iowa’s premier defensive lineman decided to come back for his senior season instead of leaving early for the NFL Draft. This came as a bit of a surprise after having a truly superb Orange Bowl against Georgia Tech. Hawkeye fans, took this as a very pleasant surprise.

Adrian Clayborn redshirted in 2006, served as a backup in ‘07, began his surge the following year, and broke out in 2009 with a monster season. He ended last season with an impressive 20 tackles for loss, 11.5 sacks, and four forced fumbles. His presence along the line was absolutely remarkable, and even these eye-popping numbers don’t really do him justice.

He’s got a superb motor, and we’re not just throwing this term around to sound like we know what we’re talking about.

What I mean by this, is Clayborn finds himself in spots on the field that he shouldn’t be. And this isn’t a bad thing. He makes plenty of tackles at the line of scrimmage, but he also runs down players and makes an impact down field on plays that get through the 1st and sometimes 2nd line of defense. It’s rare that you see an end his size that can impact plays in other areas of the field. While being able to tackle a running back 8 yards beyond the line of scrimmage doesn’t seem ground breaking, it does a lot about the character of the player.

At 6′4″ and 285 pounds, Clayborn is rather large for a defensive end. Still, he moves unbelievably quick and showcased his overall mental and physical skill set against Georgia Tech’s complex offense. He uses his hands very well and showcased a supreme ability to get off blockers and even take on double-teams. It’s a good thing, because he’ll see plenty of them next year.

He won’t have the same dominating impact that Ndamukong Suh had for the Cornhuskers last season, but I think this comparison is closer than most might recognize. Although Suh played DT at his time at Nebraska, the entire defense revolved around whether he could get off his block and get a push up field. The same can be said about Clayborn, and he will find himself in many backfields come fall.

Mel Kiper already has Clayborn in his top 5 (super duper early) for next year’s big board. While a lot can change in a season, there are already plenty of 3-4 defenses licking their chops at the though of adding this monster to their team.

If he doesn’t get into any trouble  Iowa City <—— might be tougher than most think while looking at the laundry list of IC bar incidents over the last decade, Clayborn could have a monster season for the Hawks. It will be hard for the team to duplicate their overall success this year, but they should still be very solid on defense and get much more help from the offense. Clayborn should still be able to raise hell, even with some key losses in the front seven.

If you don’t believe me, perhaps this Clayborn YouTube shrine will do the trick.