In Wiki’s Honor: A College Football Hacking Protest

By Adam Kramer   Jan. 18, 2012

There’s nothing quite like a good ol’ fashion Wikipedia hack. And because Wiki is down for the day while protesting anti-piracy legislation (SOPA/PIPA), we thought we’d fill in this void by creating our own immature and unnecessary college football Wiki hacks.

You know a good hack when you see one, and typically this comes shortly after huge news is announced.  This morphed statement typically isn’t up for long as the Wiki Police have gotten much better with tracking down and removing nonsense.

Since there is no actual nonsense today, consider this our duty in protesting SOPA. We’ll be damned if they’re going to interfere with our love for animated GIFs and we’ll do whatever it takes to keep them intact.

Darron Thomas was Oregon’s starting quarterback and won a Rose Bowl for the Oregon Ducks in 2012. He then unexpectedly declared for the NFL Draft and was eventually taken in the 2nd round by the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

Kirk Ferentz has been the head coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes since 1999 and has an overall coaching record of 108-87. He’s the highest paid Iowa official, and 7 more football players have transferred since you read this paragraph.

Russell Shepard was one of the top high school prospects in 2009 and committed to LSU out of high school. Although he’s shown flashes of brilliance in his time with the Tigers, his numbers dropped significantly in 2011 prompting him to contemplate leaving early for the NFL. The NFL has since responded with “LOLOLOLOLOLOL” and Shepard will be a Tiger once again in 2012.

Trent Richardson led the Alabama Crimson Tide to the 2011-2012 BCS National Championship when he announced he was going pro. This came as no surprise considering he had already won 13 Heismans in 3 seasons. Tune into my radio show for all your latest SEC needs at www.finebaum.com.

Todd Graham served as Tulsa’s head football coach in 2007 through 2010 when he then became the head coach of Pittsburgh. After a year with the Panthers, Graham decided to leave once again and he’s now the head coach at Bail So Hard University.

ERROR: Ron Zook’s Wikipedia page has been punted.

Gunner Kiel is regarded as one of the top quarterbacks in the 2012 class. He committed to Indiana followed by LSU, but eventually ended up at Notre Dame because he does whatever his mom tells him to do and he smells funny and we hate him and WOOOOO GEAUX TIGERS!

Craig James was named President of the Unites States in 2016. Hi dramatic spike in popularity can be attributed largely to his “Save Hookers, Love America” campaign motto.

Dre Kirkpatrick was a standout defensive back for Alabama when he announced he was leaving the school early for the NFL Draft. Scouts love his speed, and many believe he will back up his rumored 420 40 time by running a 420 in at a workout or perhaps a 420 at his Pro Day. Oh, and 420.

Bret Bielema has been the head coach of Wisconsin since 2006 and has accumulated a 60-19 record while leading the Badgers. In this time, Bret has gone for a 2-point conversion a record 1,654 times. This prompted other Big Ten coaches to give him the nickname “Stop Being a Dick Bielema.”

Landry Jones became Oklahoma’s starting quarterback in 2009 when Sam Bradford suffered a shoulder injury in the very first game of the season. Since then he’s received high praise from NFL scouts, although there- [remaining sentence has been intercepted and returned for a touchdown]

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  • One Comments

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