Archive for February, 2012

LaRon Landry is in Acceptable Offseason Shape

You sit down at your normal curling station at your local gym, and you look to your right.

Oh hey, why is that guy curling the entire stack? And oh hey, look two of his buddies are standing on the weights as well. What is that, like, 700 pounds?

Hey, that’s former LSU missile/defensive back LaRon Landry!

“Hey LaRon!”

“You must work out a little bit, right?”

[LaRon picks me up, curls me 100 times]

[weight not enough so he adds in two 45-pounds plates into his arms, one of which I think just cracked a rib]

[does 100 more curls]

“Why are you so fat,” he asks me.

[adds two more plates, follows it up with 400 more curls]

DISCLAIMER: We don’t know if this was Photoshopped or if LaRon is actually part Musclebot (a muscular robot), but knowing the Internet we’ll go with “maybe” on both.

[Wonderful hat tip, no, spot to Hogs Haven]

  • All them muscles and Brandon Jacobs still ran him over LOL
  • Published On Feb. 23, 2012 by Adam Kramer
  • Your 2011-2012 Mermaid Ornament National Champions

    Christmas has come early, Alabama fans!

    If you’ve been looking for an Alabama mermaid Christmas ornament to celebrate your championship win  - and frankly, who hasn’t – you’re in luck!

    Now, this piece of holiday history won’t be cheap ($25.99), but it is a specialty item, and you’ve already ordered a dozen for your friends and family so who cares. The description on the website, which doesn’t actually touch on the mermaid part of this whole thing, says it all.

    “Celebrate the 2011 Alabama Crimson Tide Football Season & National Championship with this Player dressed in Red & White”

    Oh, we will. ROLL DAMN MERMAID.


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  • Published On Feb. 22, 2012 by Adam Kramer
  • The Most Important Gator Bowl Rings Ever

    Two teams, one bowl game, one winner. Never has a meaningless bowl game been more important than this one. Except perhaps most other meaningless bowl games in 2011, but this one was important too. REALLY IMPORTANT.

    The winner would be 7-6, the loser would finish the year under .500. So much to gain, so much to lose. The 2011 Gator Bowl was the game with everything on the line, and in the end the Gators came away victorious against Ohio State. What a game. It’s one of those that you’ll show to your son in 25 years and say, “I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.”

    What do you get for winning the Gator Bowl? I’m glad you asked.

    If you’re Florida you get a full mouth full of irrelevance, which probably tastes a lot like Gatorade shortly after you brush your teeth. Oh, and you also get a ring!

    Thanks to Trey Burton, we know what that ring looks like. And who says 7-6 in the SEC doesn’t have its perks.

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  • Published On Feb. 22, 2012 by Adam Kramer