“You’re looking live… at the 2013 BCS National Championship Drinking Game.”
It’s been a wonderful ride, and college football’s closing act is getting extra special treatment this year.
Do you plan to watch the game? Do you enjoy beer? If you answered yes to these—and if you answered no, kindly leave—then you are in the right place.
The BCS National Championship Drinking game has become a tradition of sorts in these parts, and we’re happy to provide an updated edition for a game of this magnitude. And remember, regardless of how the actual game goes there are no losers here. Well, maybe your wife or husband and probably your employer the next day, but other than that… no losers.
The rules are simple and below. We begin, of course, with a yearly staple.
Drink one for all Brent Musburger gambling references. He’ll start you off with the mild “double-digit underdog” mentions, but by the end you’ll know which side he has and how big he went. SPOILER: He went big.
Drink one for all awkward Nick Saban-makes-eye-contact-with-America moments during interviews. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, oh, buddy you will. Seriously, he stares into your soul, and Tom Rinaldi will be on the call SO THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
Drink one for all “disapproving Brian Kelly” sideline shots. He doesn’t turn purple anymore but he does have a distinguished look, the same one you give your dog when pees on the carpet. Also, DO NOT play this with Nick Saban because you will die.
Drink one for all “Modern Family” previews during commercial breaks. Make it two if that horrendous Eddie Money/Geico commercial surfaces, which is somehow in again and likely will be featured. If it’s a commercial featuring Pitbull in any capacity, make it five and hug me over the Internet. #RealGoodCommercial
Drink one when “Johnny Football” is mentioned. Cotton Bowl, beating Alabama, being completely awesome at this thing called life—ol’ Brent will bring up Johnny Football and we will raise our glasses to the casino wiz kid.
Drink one if/when the name “Tommy Rees” is mentioned. Notre Dame fans, drink heavily (no amount given, but you’ll know) if Tom Rees comes into the game because that means oh my god you’re out of beer.
Drink one when Brent or Kirk references “Big Boy Football” or something along those lines. Speaking of which, if “In the trenches” is mentioned, take one as well. This could get ugly, be ready.
Drink one for every missed field goal. #CollegeKickers are never more #CollegeKickery in big games. We drink for them, with them, and sip casually to their failures.
Drink one if “Notre Dame is back” or consecutive national championships are mentioned with the SEC. This will likely come as they’re cutting to a commercial, or maybe every few sentences or so.
Drink one for all mascot shots. One’s a leprechaun; the other’s an elephant. If you need an excuse to drink for something more creative… [shrugs]
Drink one when Amari Cooper breaks someone ankles in open space. Drink another one when he does this because he’s only a freshman and [expletive deleted] four more years. We’re all [expletive deleted].
Drink one for each Manti Te’o tackle. If he gets a sack, make it two. If gets an interception, make it five. If he scores a touchdown, finish your drink and watch Twitter literally explode before your eyes.
Drink one when Eddie Lacy or T.J. Yeldon destroys a Notre Dame player “attempting” to tackle them. Sort of unfair to have these two in the same backfield, so here’s our unfair rule.
Drink one for every touchdown. Again, this could be reserved for the DDs, but they’ll feel really great about being able to participate. This one’s for you, DDs!
Drink one for all punts. <——- not for DDs
Finally, drink one to celebrate this glorious game. It’s been a pleasure, as always.